big pile of money

2005-09-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

If anyone's looking for me I'll be sleeping on my big pile of money

For your listening pleasure - Thirsty Merc, "Everything But You". My house has been overrun with moths. I don't like moths, not even a little bit. I had to chase one out of the bathroom last night with a swiffer, trick him into falling in love with the hall light and then murder him and his 2 friends with insect spray.

Last night on my way home from dinner I saw a house about a block away from where I live, completely decked out in Christmas gear. Not just a tree, or a sign, or an elegant string of lights, but a whole yard full of cheer. Inflatable Santa in his
inflatable sleigh on the roof, rope lights in every colour, a giant illuminated Christmas tree... all 2 months early.

Everyone knows it's bad luck to decorate before December 1, right?

This week I was a millionaire. I had an unclaimed winning Powerball ticket worth $23,200,000. I'd bought in while I was in Queensland for the weekend, shortly before moving up there. That was 1 year ago. The lottery people had been waiting for a whole year for me to come forward, and foolishly I had thrown my ticket away. Oh no! Would they believe me when I told them i had a big black cock? Would I need to prove I had been there that weekend and had indeed bought a ticket? Surely if I could

tell them when and where I'd bought it they'd have to give me the money. How am I going to spend all the money? Houses?

Cars? Holidays? Investments? Faberge eggs? Oh, wait, hang on. The ticket WASN'T bought in Coolum? It was bought in Nundah?

But I've never been to Nundah...

matthewdeutsch

big pile of money